You gotta love Jodi Miller.
You gotta love Jodi Miller.
Ahh… I am in a Reagan kind of mood.
After his speech to Muslims this morning, sources close to Obama have disclosed he is seriosuly contemplating a redesign of the American flag.
Insiders reveal portions of his upcoming speech.
For over two centuries, the American flag has represented tyranny and oppression througout the world. Our enemies have gazed upon it with contempt and hatred. The thirteen stripes once represented the colonies. When America began its imperialism under the previous administration, we lost our moral authority to remind anyone we were once a ”colony.” Once oppressed, we now oppress the world. Therefore, we must change the icon of Americanism so it is more inclusive of the global community.
His first choice (shown below) incorporates the sword of Allah and the communist star on a lovely white backdrop.
“Make no mistake,” Obama is reported to have said. “The white field is not meant to represent the white people of America. The white represents a couple of things. Just as white light is the combination of all colors of the spectrum, so too should our emblem reflect that coming together of all cultures and peoples of the world.”
Reluctant at first, after some pressing, Obama divulged the second representation.
As you can see, this banner also bears the sword of Allah and the single star of global socialism. As we are one of the largest muslim nations in the world, the white field represents our submission to Allah and a certain, undeniable submissiveness to rights of peole to live in a unified socialist world. The two drops of blood will represent the deaths of capitalism and religions opposed to Islam.
The other flag Obama is considering is much simpler in form. Should he decide upon this second flag, Obama’s speech will remind Americans
Now is our time to demonstrate to the world we are no longer arrogant Americans. Pursuing the goals of “national determination” and “self defense” are counter productive to a global society. Therefore, with this new American flag, we will demonstrate to the world we no longer believe we are better, stronger, smarter, or morally superior to any other culture, nation, or person. This new emblem of America will suffice until all the world can surrender themselves to a single global authority working for the benefit of all peoples.
Sources expect Obama to arrive at a decision within the coming weeks. At the same time, he will likely announce his plan to run for global ruler. When he wins, he will make his new title Almighty Mullah Czar Obama.
Tomorrow, GM and Chrysler will unveil their new logos. We got a sneak peek. Here they are.
That’s right. GM will now be OM or Obama Motors.
And Chrysler is honoring the messiah also. They will now be AntiChrystler.
This sounds accurate. Poor children.
Why is it that in Obamanomics the ruling class (government) and their stooges (GE, unions, movie stars, and the media) get to keep whatever they have and the non-ruling class are called to sacrifice?
Shouldn’t reason dictate before Obama and his socialist buddies demand everything from everyone else, they set an example and surrender everything they have first?
It’s the weekend. I’m in the mood for comical videos and songs.
This is hilarious
Three Californian surgeons were playing golf together and discussing
surgeries they had performed.
One of them said, “I’m the best surgeon in California . In my
favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I
reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert
for the Queen of England.”
The second surgeon said, “That’s nothing. A young man lost an arm and
both legs in an accident, I reattached them and two years
later he won a gold medal in track and field events at the Olympics.”
The third surgeon said, “You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a woman
was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a
train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the
woman’s hair and the horse’s ass. I was able to put them together and now she’s
Speaker of the House.”
In order to pay for his socialist agenda, Barack Obama needs to raise taxes. Tim “the Tax Evader” Geithner has come up with some unique taxes, including the following:
No Child’s Behind Left Untaxed Tax
Since babies have a tendency to poot, toot, and burp, all tax deductions for these carbon dioxide factories will go down the crapper. An unnamed source cites Al Gore as asking, “Why should babies not be punished for destroying the earth?”
At first blush, this may appear to tax vegetables, but it will actually be a tax on couples who produce a baby. Besides using more oxygen and expelling more CO2 during copulation, parents are building pollution factories. Therefore, they must pay for their crimes against humanity and polar bears.
All Mexican cuisine will have a progressive tax with beans floating the most obnoxious burden to the consumer. There will, however, be a tax deduction for people who can prove they took Beano. This deduction will not go into effect until after Al Gore and the SEIU gain an Obama-mandated majority share in the Beano manufacturer. If you ask me, the whole think stinks.
Democrats in Congress are trying to add taxes to cigars used in the capacity of an aide. One top democrat is reported as saying, “Cigars like these can still cause esophageal and labial cancer.” Another democrat supporting the measure raised the question, “How do we seize the evidence before it falls down some dark hole or goes up in smoke?” After much debate, Congress is considering a measure that will lower unemployment and guarantee a proper tax by hiring millions of robust monitors called “Churchills” to stand guard in the bedroom of every home.
Singular Emissions Tax
This may be called the “Wacks Tax.” Because people often breathe heavy during the throes of passion–even if the person is alone–Obama plans to put an engorged tax on all pornography and stimulating images. Not only will adult movies and magazines be subjected to this tax, but it will also be applied to the Victoria’s Secret catalogue, National Geographic, and most graphic novels.
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