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Everyone’s stopped picking on the fat kids

Posted by Brutus | Posted in Conservative Corner | Posted on 26-11-2008


In the past week, there has been talk about childhood obesity and fast food. The remedy, it appears is in banning fast food ads.

My initial reaction to this is: What the H-E-double golf putters is wrong with this country?

Are there too many fat kids in this country? Sure. Are there too many fat adults? Yep. Is it the fault of McDonald’s and Burger King? Absolutely not. Creepy as the king in the commercials is, he doesn’t stare into the camera and pull some sort of mind warp on everyone looking. Neither does Mayor McCheese threaten to Rodney King everyone that doesn’t run straight to the Golden Arches.

There are two reasons why people are overweight in this country. The first is biological, either genetic or physiological issues. The second issue, the hardest to handle, is pure laziness. Parents and children alike are lethargic. They sit on their duffs, shoving handsful of potato chips and chocolate bars down their throats and then they look for someone to blame for their size 54 waists.

Like it or not, we live in a consumer world. Cutting ads for Mickey D’s and BK may or may not reduce childhood obesity. It will certainly hurt the fast food industry. As that happens, franchises will shut down, undereducated adults and teens will lose their jobs, and many people supplying these businesses will feel the pressure to scale back on costs and jobs.

This is typical of contemporary American thought. Everything is someone else’s fault. You’re kid is fat? It couldn’t possibly be due to your negligence–blame McDonald’s. You shot and killed someone? It’s not your fault–blame the gun manufacturer. Addicted to crack cocaine? It’s not your fault for smoking it–blame society, which pushed you into it.

Here’s a novel idea. Rather than banning fast food commercials, how about jailing parents who let their 2-year-olds get above 90 pounds? Or maybe we can┬ájust have mandatory exercise classes for all Americans starting at 7 a.m. Eastern/4 a.m. Pacific. Everyone can wear their little gray jumpsuit with a red star over their breast and Chairman MaObama or the Director of National Health and Wellness can lead us all through a series of sit ups, push ups, and stretches before we go on our five-mile run. If that doesn’t work, we can ban X-box, PlayStation, television, computers, potato chips, chocolate, sofas, chairs, and beds. If that still doesn’t work, we can simply send anyone more than 10% overweight to the desert to sweat it off while cracking rocks down to pebbles for use in some government pork project. Of course, since pork is fat, we’ll have to rename it “government fish.”

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